Science is a creative bitch.
Parasaurolophus may have been one of the most
unique-looking dinosaurs to ever roam the planet. These motherfuckers
had super long cranial crests, which made them look like walking
Dustbusters. Parasaurolophus roamed the woodlands of North America
during the Late Cretaceous Period, some 76-73 million years ago. They
belonged to a family known as hadrosaurids, which are known best for
their "duck-bills" and wonky head ornaments. Despite being a fairly
popular dinosaur, Parasaurolophus was actually one of the
rarer hadrosaurids, with only three known species discovered from only a
few good specimens.
Parasaurolophus measured about 31
feet long, weighed around 4 tons, and had a skull the length of a human
(including the crest). Similar to Triceratops, Parasaurolophus had
dental batteries. Their skulls housed hundreds of teeth, with only a
handful being used at any time. Since Parasaurolophus walked both as a
bi-ped and as a quadruped, it got to enjoy an array of tasty
foliage. Once their front teeth eroded away from noshing on twigs and
pine needles all the damn time, the spare teeth in the back would take
their spot, thus creating an endless cycle of musical chairs.
Parasaurolophus are classified
as lambeosaurine hadrosaurids, due to their fancy-pants crests. The name
Parasaurolophus means "almost Saurolophus", which is kind of a dig at
these poor dudes. Like, they couldn't get a name that was unique to
them? They, instead, have to live in infamy as almost another species of
dinosaur to which they don't really have much in common. You see, Saurolophus belongs to
a sister group of hadrosaurids, known as Saurolophinae, and these guys
are known for having solid to no crests at all. So, they were as close
to being similar as we are to apes. That's okay, because Parasaurolophus is actually more
commonly known as "near crested lizard" because, ya know, that makes
sense.
The crests of Parasaurolophus were
hollow, with tubes leading from each nostril to the end of the crest,
then running back down the crest into the skull. Essentially, this was
their nasal cavity placed on top of their head. Science really loves
fucking with nature. The large surface area of Parasaurolophus' crest
likely allowed for thermoregulation, helping cool the skull & brain.
The crests also served as a visual display for each species and sex to be able to identify one another, and is believed to have grown longer with age. Babies
had a tiny bump on their noggins, where juveniles displayed a small,
rounded crest which grew as individuals reached sexual maturity.
Scientists decided to test out
whether or not Parasaurolophus could communicate through their
head-noses, and found that the crests did, indeed, create a deep, resonating sound when
air gets blasted through them. Since the crests on males were longer
than those of females, they were probably capable of creating a louder,
longer sound. It's likely that the males would bellow loudest when they
were looking for a hot piece of nar-nar, which makes complete sense
because what woman doesn't swoon when a dude makes sexy tuba noises at them?
Don't lie, you know you do.
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