Thursday, October 23, 2014

Troodon: The Dinosauroid That Wasn't.

I often catch a lot of flack for being so interested in dinosaurs. The problem with that is, dinosaurs aren't make-believe creatures...they actually fucking existed! These crazy-looking, sometimes enormous, always fascinating animals once trampled about where you're sitting today, and that's fucking incredible! But the neatest thing about dinosaurs is what most people don't know about them, and I'm here today to talk to you about one of the coolest dinos to ever grace the Earth with their presence.
 
At first glance, Troodon looks almost like your typical theropod, but they were anything but that. These dudes lived during the Late Cretaceous, about 77-65 million years ago, in what is presently known as Western North America, though some species have been found in the plains of Asia. They were small guys, measuring up to 8 feet in length (largest specimens are comparable in size to Deinonychus), and weighed only about 110-140 pounds. Troodon had long, slender hind limbs, which means they probably ran as fast as Kenyans. They also had large, retractable sickle-shaped claws on their second toes, which were raised off the ground when running. In addition, Troodon possessed super large, slightly forward-facing eyes, which gave them some degree of depth perception. Good binocular vision paired with a sickle claw means that these guys were likely predators.

Troodon's name means "wounding tooth", which refers to the serrations found on their pearly chompers. You see, Troodon had teeth unlike other theropods, as they were more similar to those found in herbivorous reptiles. Their jaws met in a broad, U-shaped joint (much like that of an iguana), and their teeth bore large serrations. This suggests that Troodon may have led an omnivorous lifestyle. Finally, a dinosaur who was smart enough to realize you can eat ALL the things!

Oh, did I mention that Troodon was probably one of the smartest dinosaurs to ever have lived?

See, the Encephalization Quotient (EQ) of these dudes may have been low compared to humans, but was six times higher than that of other dinos. This means that Troodon was the smarty pants of the dinosaur world, and likely had their lunch money stolen from them on the playground after getting wedgied by some hadrosaur named Dirk. Because of their astounding brainpower, a fella by the name of Dale Russell came up with the idea that, had Troodon persevered the Cretaceous-Paleogene Extinction Event, it may have evolved into intelligent beings similar in body plan to that of humans. 

Yes, people, these guys could have been the reptilians of lore!

Russell's reasoning for Troodon possibly evolving into a "Dinosauroid" isn't just based on brain case size. Oh, no. He had a plethora of ideas that led him to Troodon's possible evolutionary path. Mr. Russell suggested that an enlarged brain would result in a shortened facial region, and a big-brained noggin would need to be supported over the body, thus making way for a shorter neck and vertical human-like posture. And a vertical posture would mean no more need for a tail! Oh, and birthing these big-headed creatures would mean that this "Dinosauroid" would certainly need to possess a broad, human-like pelvis. And they would definitely need a navel, as a placenta aids in the development of a large brain holder. And since Troodon already had semi-manipulative fingers, capable of grasping and holding things, they were all set on hands. And they'd speak in a sweet birdsong, quietly talking smack about us weird-looking ape creatures.

Science Fiction, meet Real Life.

In reality, Troodon would have probably been as smart as an emu or opossum, and would have likely retained the classic theropod posture. Sooo, they'd essentially look pretty much as they did 65 million years ago. I don't know about you, but I'd totally be down for chillin' with a real-life reptilian any day!